"Audy Roney" Smith survives plane crash

Long-time friend of the family Rod (aka Audy Roney) Smith has once again defied death. Audy Roney (which i choose to pronounce Odey Roney mainly for the audio pleasure of it) was on an airplane in Costa Rica that suddenly crashed last week...
Rod, who i will now and forever refer to as audy roney, helped get the passengers out of the plane and even pushed one man out by his butt-cheeks, one hand per cheek. after everyone was off the plane and gasoline was pouring out of the damaged plane, audy roney decided to get away from the potentially deadly situation. No one else could be convinced to leave the scene. luckily, audy roney stumbled (literally) onto a path that led to a road... No one would pull over for him though because he was gushing blood from a huge gash across his head... finally, a man in a truck pulled over and helped audy roney to the truck which incredibly WOULD NOT START! audy roney finally caught sight of his head in the visor mirror and passed out from shock falling out of the truck and onto the ground... he revived a bit at the sound of sirens from an ambulance that he tried to wave down, but the ambulance suddenly turned right and headed in the other direction away from the plane crash and from audy roney half passed out on the ground by a lifeless truck!!!
eventually another ambulance came along, it was actually a van painted to look like an ambulance, with "EMT"s that did not know where the clinic was, and picked him up. after driving 20 miles out of the way, the "ambuvan" found the clinic but it was CLOSED. off they go again, and find another clinic that unbelievably had police with guns telling him he had to leave (no idea why) and back into the van... finally audy roney arrived at a hospital (this term, like "emt", is used loosely) where he was taken into surgery and sprayed with lanacane as an anesthetic (yes, that spray you put on bug bites and sunburns) as they stiched up his head, and sent out into the hall to wait... eventually a doctor noticed that he was still bleeding profusely since they had not reconnected some tissue in his head, so they brought him back into surgery, opened up all the stiches, reconnected some tissue, and then stiched him all up again without ever even giving him an aspirin... i have a pic of the stiched up gash, but i will not post it unless there is a loud outcrying from my loyal readers...
the story is truly incredible, especially in the light of the fact that the same audy roney was also struck by lightning earlier in his life and was hit by a car while riding a bike about 2 years ago... also, some people might think, god this guy is unlucky, but the way i figure it after seeing the numerous amount of plane crashes in costa rica just this year and the abundance of deaths from those crashes, audy roney might be the luckiest man alive to have made it through this ordeal with only a head wound and broken ribs.
the only news article i could find online portrays the pilot as the hero of the story although, since "Weather conditions were normal and the flight was a routine flight that Nature Air operates daily" it seems to me that maybe she was the cause of the crash in the first place, just a thought.
http://insidecostarica.com/dailynews/2005/december/17/nac01.htm please note that there is no mention of her touching any butt cheeks at all, so what kind of hero could she be? I mean, really?