still an imposter

i had to call out of work two nights because i have been so sick and really i shouldn't be working now, but i think i was out of sick-time... the baby is sick now too and so is keeping me awake at nights.... so, i am sick and tired and completely useless at work... i feel like disintegrating or incinerating or some other thing that would involve me no longer existing in this realm...
so, about the progress at the house... i have completed the first and second coats of paint in marina's and cadence's rooms... the entertainment center is back together with several electronic devices on it and a few of them even work... i have re-set-up the computer and the only problem with that is being locked out of my adelphia email... the new ceramic top stove and fridge have been delivered and installed and are great... jeff even went grocery shopping...
so, there is still a huge list of things to do, but most urgently over the next few days is buy marina's bed, buy a desk and book shelves for the office and empty the "arena" aka family room, which has been acting as a storage area since the move, but needs to be sheetrocked.... also, hallway and entryway both still need second coat and stairway needs two more coats... both of the girls closets need two new coats of white and argh, a million other things... everytime we turn around there is something that needs to be repaired, replaced, painted, or cleaned... but the house looks great and is definately coming along...
it is funny, when i started this blog, i wrote that having a house might help me feel less like i am a kid just playing house and at this point it has only intensified it... someday we will be settled and i will feel like it is mine and that i deserve it and belong there (like in maybe 30+ years), but for now, still an imposter....